Sunday, February 14, 2010

it has been 2 years since he left me and went away but still i cant forget him. can anyone tell me what to do?? many say "move on wid life".... "god will help u"......"u will get back ur true love if u wait"....... and so on. but god damn it!!! it never happens though i wish so much atleast one of them to happen. iiii am so helpless today... not even god can help me now !!!! i am so much in love the one who doesnt even deserve my love and dont feel it. i hate crying but more i keep back the tears from falling i feel a burning sensation in my chest more and more. i want to forget him. i want to erase him out of my memory. i cant get him out of my mind. thinking about him and breathing is same to me.

he loves someone else. he always loved her. i was just an infatuation to him ofr 2 months. yes, 2 months ... thats all it took to end my life in such a pathetic way. i have always wanted him to be happy. thats what i asked from god. 'make him happy'.... and god answered my prayers. god made him happy. i dont blame god. i respect and trust god even now. life had been a nightmare for me for 7 months after he left me. even now the pain kills me. the worst thing is when i try to reach him an di dont get him, i know he is then enjoying himself wid his lover ......i just cant think anymore how he is enjoying himself.

why me god?? becoz i loved someone so much that i forgot to ask for my happiness?? is this what i get for loving someone so much? i know today, at this moment he is wid her in his bed making love. i m not jealous. i m sad. i just wish he would have loved me truly even for once. i can never tell him or make him understand what pain or torture i undergo everyday.... that my life has been jeopardized forever.... stay wid those pains silently enduring them..... only screaming in sleep ....
he went to his path which he found right but what about me? how can i tell him that i closed all the roads of my life and came to him ?? how can i make him realize that when he turned me away i have no where else to go and thats why i m still here . i love him. i really love him.


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sorry guys, just became a little bit emotional and vomitted it out. never mind it. and pls dont ask anything regarding it. love ya guys.

2 comments:

  1. ekta bapar amay khub touch kore....bondhu hoye tor jonno kichui korte parlamna.

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  2. hmm... if thats really tru,.. i wuld'nt giv u ne suggestion,.. just kno it, ki u rn't the only one.. there r many more meaning to live 4... givin in is no option,.. neday.. :) gud luck

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