the moment I miss you

Screaming on the inside.
Kicking and crying on the outside.
Wanting him back.
Needing to hear him.
Gasping, Trembling.
Trying to find the words.
Getting mad,
Getting angry,
Hating the world,
Then breaking completely down.
Can't breath,
Drowning in tears.
Sobbing hard,
Praying for God's help with everything I have.
Lump in my throat,
Knots in my stomach.
Tears soaking up my face.
The salty taste is in my mouth.
Wanting him to feel the love I feel for him.
Wanting him to see the pain he's putting me through.
Not strong enough.
Dont have the strength to hide the hurt.
Trying to hold back,
But I'm about to burst.
Feeling rejected,
Can't find what I've left behind.
I'm losing faith,
Falling from Grace,
I'm all over the place.
Lost inside.
Not complete.
I need to step up and be strong.
Can't show him my weakness.
He won't see the tears behind these ahzel eyes.
He'll never know how I truely feel.
Hoping he feels it too.
I won't give up.
I can't.
I have to stay true.
I will use the rest of my strength,
I'll show him I Love Him.
Scared of rejection again.
I don't want it to come to that.
Terrified.
The thing I want most...
Is the only thing that petrifies me.